Man, I'm really glad I made that "Wire" tag on my gmail account months ago. I get a lot of crap emails and I would have lost most of these in the shuffle.
I'm passing these two along, even though they caused one of the most dedicated Wire devotees to declare he was tired of reading about the show. Of course, he's an old curmudgeon, so what do you expect?
http://www.slate.com/id/2181449/entry/2181450/ - Slate is consistently fellating the show, and I have no problem with that, because they provide me lovely quotes to use as salvos against those fools who argue that Sopranos is a better show:
As Slate Editor Jacob Weisberg observed a year ago, The Wire is not merely the best show on television now, but the best show that has ever been on television."
However, Mr. Plotz also learned what happened when you accuse David Simon of suffering from monomania. As my friend Tavs would say: "Bam." Simon's best dig:
"That said, if you've ever taken an Introduction to Logic course, you
know that Argumentum Ad Hominem, while a stock maneuver in most
half-assed journalism and commentary, is the weakest sort of
intellectual crutch."
And he tops it all of with a nice cherry:
The only difference between your discussion of seasons one through four
and the current one seems to be that you did not encounter Ed Burns at
a party. Next time we meet, remind me to talk about the Orioles
parsimony when it comes to pitching or my complete collection of
Professor Longhair albums in order that you might be able to address
yourselves to the work itself, for better or for worse.
I met David Simon this summer. For the record, I did not detect a hint of monomania. It was at Peter's in Fells Point, and after spotting him during my meal, I spent the rest of the time working up the courage to say hello I failed. Luckily, my sister spent that time more constructively, drinking wine and growing annoyed at my indecision, so she approached Simon and his wife to say hello for me. He was quite nice. No monomania. Did not mention the Sun. Wanted to get back to his meal, I am sure. The moral of the story is - I'm nearly 30 and my big sister still tells me what to do.
Finally, check our the prequels, if you have not. I have not.
After a long hiatus, which perhaps no one noticed, I decided to revive this little project. There's only ten weeks in this season, and after watching #51 last Sunday, all of my obsession with the show has come rushing back to me. I guess it was inevitable; after all, every person with a blog, byline or email is writing about the Wire. To be honest, I'm suffering from a bit of overload, as I imagine many others are. I, of course, won't get on any sort of high horse and point out that I first started watching in the summer of 2002 on my crappy TV in the cheapest apartment ever. No, that wouldn't be right - I think everyone should watch the show, and those who do not need some sort of intervention.
So, I'm just going to try and give a bit of local commentary on the show. There won't be essays on racial undertones or the tragic plight of the postindustrial city. For starters, I live both every day, and second, I reserve those conversations for nights that I've decided to polish off the better half of a bottle of bourbon (some of you have been the recipients of my tangents - I would apologize, but I'm just going to do it again).
But I need help - there's no way I know as much about this city or the show as I'd like to think I do. Chances are, if you are reading this, you know me personally. In that case, just email me and I'll show you how to post something, or will do it for you. If you don't know me, email me anyway (I think its on here somewhere) or put something in the comments. Oh, and pass this along to others, both within Charm City and without.
Check out the previous post - it refers back to #51.
I'm not quite able to break the show down like the
crowd at Heaven and Here, but I can add a few local insights from last night's episode.
First,
the law nerds might appreciate that when Rhonda directs Chris to the
criminal clerk's office in the Courthouse (which is known as the
Mitchell Courthouse to non-Baltimoreans), not only does she direct him
down the proper hall to get to the clerk's office, he reviews the file
in the actual criminal clerk's office. No word on if you're allowed to take
pictures from the files. One thing that irked me about that scene is that the entrance
Chris used (the St. Paul entrance) is not accessible to the
public, I don't think. I guess the reason is that the main entrance is used as the
establishing shot for the basement offices of Season 1, and they didn't
want to confuse people. And the room where Pearlman and Daniels talk to
the State's Attorney is the second-floor lobby, and its really
beautiful in real life. Most of the building is. In fact, that room
is where they shot the dancing scene in the beginning of Avalon. Oh,
and in a bit of truly inspired fiction, David Simon made the State's
Attorney somewhat useful and intelligent.
Just a few spot locations - Marlo's place hasn't changed, and as I may have told people before, its probably scarier
in real life
than it is in the show.
McNulty and Dozerman were spying from a church
that is actually across the street. You definitely could see the "lair"
from there. I bet the overhead shots are taken from the church. It's
just off of Broadway, north of Hopkins Hospital. The surrounding
neighborhood looks a lot like this.
Quick
note on bars - Herc buys drinks at the Wharf Rat downtown. It really
would be that empty, so long as there isn't an Orioles game or a
convention of plastic surgeons or K-12 Principals.
By far my favorite scene was the one with Naresse, Carcetti
and the US Attorney. They couldn't have crammed more references to
local politics if they tried. First off, there's the US Attorney's
office going after the state senator, just like they did with Tommy Bromwell. Too bad they didn't talk about the
great writing
in that case. Not to mention that the US Attorney even looked kind of
like Rod Rosenstein. The whole schools controversy is copied directly
from the crisis in 2003; the city bailed the school out after rejecting
the state's offer of help. Many (rightly) speculated that O'Malley did
so to keep the ammunition from Ehrlich. Looks like he made the right
move. He's Governor, and the schools are great! And finally, there's
Noresse under investigation for impropriety. Sheila Dixon, current
mayor and patron of the Starbucks near my apartment, was city council
president when O'M was mayor. She was "next in line" like Noresse
claims to be. She was also suspected of wrongdoing surrounding a
property deal; hers dealt with a development company, Doracon, that was
raided recently.
Though I'm sure no one doubts that any outrageous or
seemingly unbelievable scene is pulled right from real life, I can tell
you that the photocopier/lie detector is a true story. It happened in
the Southern (or maybe Southwestern - I'm not 100% sure) District. A
few cops hooked people up to an old copier and told them it was a lie
detector, and they all bought it. Needless to say, when it was
discovered, they were forced to stop. And I'm sure my PD friends will
agree - that young man's Miranda rights were being violated.
Final question - I thought that the bar where McNulty tries to pay with his OT slips might be Club Charles - anyone recognize it?
Final observation - according to IMDB, Jen Carcetti is not in this season. That is terrible...bring back Megan!
If you're in the Greater Baltimore* area next week, stop by Loyola College's McGuire Hall on Loyola's North Charles Street Campus. I, for one, immediately assumed that it would be on this campus, as when I was growing up, fine institutions of higher education like Loyola and Hopkins didn't have "campuses" in strip malls and office parks. Maybe people wanted to get an MBA while sandwiched between "#1 Fun Chinese Takeout" and RadioShack. Anyway, it's at Loyola.
If you've watched the special features onthe Wire DVDs, you know this will be good. Simon is entertaining and refreshingly honest in interviews. Yours truly will be there with a few other Wire devotees. I'm hoping to get some pictures, which I'll add to the album. Simon's appearance is part of Loyola's larger 2007 Humanities Symposium, “Urban Spaces, Urban Voices.” It looks interesting, and I'm trying to attend as much as I can, in between fake trials and catering to my pets' every whim.
Michael K. Williams, one of my favorite actors on the show, recently gave a interview to AllHipHop.com. Be careful when clicking. It's the "world's most dangerous site." I recommend some sort of protective gear, like wrist guards or goggles. Perhaps you should click and step away. Anyway...
The interview is very entertaining, as you might imagine. Williams, though scary as Omar, always struck me as the kind of guy who would just be chill and cool to hang around with. I was a little surprised to learn that he got his start as a dancer, but that did work for other great performers (who spent time in Baltimore as well), though not all dramatic turns by ex-dancers go so well.
Williams discusses Omar's whistling:
AllHipHop.com: Omar always whistles �Farmer In The Dell.� Why is that?
Michael: I chose to take it there. Technically it is the tune to 'Farmer In The Dell' but there are certain lyrics in there. For
instance, 'The cheese stands alone'
is very reminiscent of Omar's character, he�s like a lone gun. But me
personally, as Michael Kenneth Williams, when I get into character -
especially when I have to use that whistle in a scene - I like to think
of a Looney Tunes character by the name of Elmer Fudd. He used to [sing] 'A hunting we will go.'
At the end of the day Omar�s just going to work. He ain't doing nothing
spectacular, he's just having fun. He enjoys his work, but he's going
to work.
The whole whistling thing is great. I tried to appropriate it, but in the end it just freaked out the barista at Starbucks. I don't know if that was because some random dude was whistling while waiting for his redeye, or because I was holding a shotgun. It's a mystery.
Williams also gave one of the most honest answers I've ever see when asked about newfound fame. I love it because its what I'm sure everyone else would be thinking:
AllHipHop.com: The Wire is
coming on BET, so a lot of people who missed the HBO show [will get to
see it]. Now that you�re going to find a lot of new fans, how are you
gonna deal with all of this?
Michael: I'm gonna sin - put that on my record. [Laughs] Let the record show.
Then, he dropped a bit of a bomb.
Michael: . . . . A couple of years ago, a good friend of
mine and his good friend Jam Master Jay, God bless the dead, came up
with an idea of putting Omar in the studio, and a couple of years
later, we got some real nice quality sounding stuff. I ain't gonna
speak too much on it, but you can definitely in '07 expect to hear
something.
AllHipHop.com: But what does Omar rap about? Omar doesn't swear�
Michael: No, it ain't gonna be none of that, just what you see
and feel from him on the screen is exactly what's on wax, nothing more
nothing less. I ain't got no bunch of crazy flows, I can't slow it up
then speed it and slow it down. Omar talks to you, he got somethin' to
tell you, and he speaks from his heart.
Um....what? The album will be by Omar, not Michael K. Williams? How does he know what Omar has to say? He may do a great job of portraying Omar, but he doesn't write the character. Simon/Burns/Pelicanos/etc are the heart and mind of Omar, not Williams. Releasing an album by a character is....well, up there with a "very special episode" and "the moppish cousin coming to live with the faily we've grown to love over the past five seasons." Not that I think the Wire will jump, but still...this sucks. Actually, I doubt that he'd even be able to do this as Omar. Omar is the intellectual property of HBO or Simon or Burns, and I doubt whoever owns the image will allow this. God, I hope they wouldn't.
All due respect to late Jam Master Jay and the HBO exec who’s pupils
turned to dollar signs when you presented him with the idea, but please
DO NOT DO THIS.
Very interesting Q&A between David Simon and a friend of his from days on the University of Maryland college newspaper posted at Undercover Black Man. This is different from many of Simon's interviews. He and his old friend quickly get into Marxism:
No, I’m a social democrat. I believe
in capitalism as the only viable motivating force to create wealth. But
I believe that there have to be certain social frameworks that allow
for a distribution of a share of that wealth throughout the classes. …
That
is not to say that I think they should get an equal share. Or “to each
according to his needs.” The impulse towards Marxism is not there. But
I do believe that raw, unencumbered capitalism, absent any social
framework, absent any sense of community, without regard to the weakest
and most vulnerable classes in society – it’s a recipe for needless
pain, needless human waste, needless tragedy, and ultimately a
coarsening of our society.
Check it out. More will be posted soon, so I'll let you know when its out. Mills also makes mention of this editorial in XXL by Byron Crawford: Y kant Tryone Read? It's a brief and biting article that really gets to the point I have been making about the main problems with the schools is that the students very often don't have the support at home that a) reinforces the lessons they learn, but also b) doesn't place them in an atmosphere where they can succeed. The readers at XXL generally were NOT pleased - check out the comments.
Whether the parents are absent or apathetic, or possibly even actively contributing to the child's general delinquency, it will have profound and negative effects on the child's learning. I welcome comments from any teachers out there, because in the many conversations I've had with teachers, this reason is often cited above funding and NCLB as the main cause of student failings.
Interesting diatribe against those who blame everything on NCLB at DY/DAN - In Defense of NCLB.
Close them! This is genius. After all, a school and its students can't perform badly if no one is there. The worst that can happen is that junkies can break in and steal your copper tubing. Or they could make them condos. Actually, I bet that's pretty likely.
About two-thirds of Baltimore's middle schools would close in coming
years under a proposal finalized last night by a city education
committee. Pimlico Middle would close this summer, followed in the next few
years by Lombard, Hamilton, Canton, Thurgood Marshall and Southeast
middle schools - and more are under discussion. At the same time,
dozens of elementary schools would be expanded to serve students
through eighth grade.
I find it a little strange that two of those schools (Canton and Lombard) they mention are in predominantly white neighborhoods, ones that are (still) undergoing a resurgence (read: gentrification). Then again, it could be that enrollment is low at those schools are low because many of the families that would have sent their kids there left as home prices rose and they were bought out. The new residents are much less likely to have school-age children, and if they did, more likely to send them to private or parochial schools.
Reading further in the article, the whole thing seems more reasonable:
It will be the second of three annual rounds of school closings in
Baltimore. With space in city schools for 125,000 students but fewer
than 85,000 enrolled, the board voted in fall 2005 to reduce the
system's square footage by 15 percent over three years. At the time, the state was threatening to cut off money for school
renovation and construction if the city system did not start operating
more efficiently. System officials say that by closing schools, they
will have more money to spend on buildings that remain open. They also say that reconfiguring school space is an opportunity to
improve academic programs, namely by eliminating failing middle
schools, some of which are labeled "persistently dangerous" by the
state. System officials believe that young adolescents perform better,
and that school environments are safer, when elementaries expand to
serve the middle grades.
Here's to hoping it works out. Sheila Dixon took over this morning, so we'll see what she does.
Many viewers anointed Season 4 the best season of the Wire
yet, and I believe that a lot of that praise stems from the show touching on a
subject matter to which everyone can relate.Seeing the state of public schools in Baltimore shocked some and validated others’
experience.There are two interesting
aspects to the Baltimore
schools situation: the current state of the students, and the
economic/political status of the schools.Of course, the two are intertwined.The school’s funding dictates what programs it can offer and (to some
degree) the quality of teachers and administrators the schools can attract and
retain.On the other hand, the
environment from which the students come dictates their social skills and interaction
with authority, and thus ability to learn in a school atmosphere.That then dictates how school resources are
utilized.I know, you get it, its all
connected.
What interests me is how the schools got into the fiscal
morass in which they found themselves at the end of Season 4.As you may imagine, those clever writers
didn’t make this one up out of thin air.Wire Baltimore
of 2006-07 is mirroring Real Baltimore of 1999 and 2003-04.In
1999, charming Martin O’Malley was elected Mayor of Baltimore after serving on
the City Council for 9 years.Sound
familiar?Well, it obviously is.Just one point on Marty, since this post
isn’t really about him: he attended the best law schoolGreatestCity
in America
(it was on the benches, people). Sorry...little shout out. in the
So, jump forward to 2003.All of a sudden, the Baltimore City School System is insolvent to the
tune of $52M.That’s bad.You may be wondering how the city government
could be unaware that its school system was being run with the fiscal aptitude
of a pile of sweaty laundry.Many
were. The Sun has many articles, and a few detailedchronologies, but unless you were forced to read it all, I don't suggest you do it voluntarily. Here's a summary:
It's 1996.Under pressure because of the dire fiscal
straits of the city school system, then-mayor Kurt Schmoke agrees to a plan to
ceded the city’s sole control of the public schools to a board that will be
comprised of members appointed by the city and state governments.You may remember him as Mayor Royce’s public
health advisor in Middle Ground in season 3.Ironically he suggested that drugs were a public health problem but that
Royce would be crucified if he allowed Hamsterdam.But that’s a different story.Schmoke is doing fine.
To add to Schmoke’s problem, the schools were facing a spate
of state and federal legislation (much of which is ongoing) attacking the
schools’ use of federal funds and possible violations of education acts like
the IDEA.This seemed like a good way
out for Schmoke and the proper thing to do for the students.At the time, the plan was lauded by many as
pioneering.Turns out six years later
that the details weren’t quite worked out as they should have been.To make it overly simple, once the schools
were on their own, they told City Hall to get bent and did things on their
own.That’s all well and good, but the
city provided the lion’s share of management and financial expertise up to that
point, and managing the multi-million dollar budget of a municipal school
system is slightly more complicated than serving as the banker in Monopoly, so
after generating budget surpluses in the first years, the deficit ballooned to
the afore-mentioned $52M in 2003.
This is where we pick up with the Wire.From the moment O’Malley was elected, there
were thoughts that he would run for Governor.He did not run in 2003, and Robert Ehrlich, a Republican, was
elected.In Maryland,
which is only slightly less inclined to vote democrat than WashingtonDC,
it is no small feat.The national fear
that terrorists would spring from your clothes hamper to shove anthrax and
dirty bombs and steal your freedom and your Levis, plus the fact that Maryland
democrats succeeded in nominating a wet bag of hair to oppose him
all contributed to Ehrlich’s big win.I
admit, I voted for him.Ehrlich knew
from day one that O’Malley wanted his job, and O’Malley knew that Ehrlich was
sitting in his seat.Shortly after
Ehrlich is sworn in, this story breaks and O’Malley has to go to Annapolis, hat in hand,
asking for money.All of the concerns
that Carcetti expressed about not wanting to alienate MontgomeryCounty
voters for the next gubernatorial election are right on.Still, O’Malley went to Annapolis and asked for the money, and
Ehrlich offered to give the schools the money on the condition that the state
take over the school system.This would
have been political suicide for the Mayor, so the city eventually bailed the
schools out with loans that threatened the city’s bond rating, and some
charitable funds.
In the midst of this, there’s a great (read: petty) exchange
between O’Malley and Ehrlich that was faithfully and wonderfully recreated on
the Wire.Carcetti goes to “Annapolis” (actually the
second floor lobby of the Clarence Mitchell Courthouse, which is a beautiful
city courthouse) to speak with the Republican governor, and is forced to sit outside on a bench for hours while the governor is on a call.Well, that happened.O’Malley went down to speak to Ehrlich and
was left waiting outside for quite some time. Then, at the press conference, O’Malley was
relegated to the background.Not long
after, O’Malley pushed his non-state-involved bailout plan through the city
council over quite legitimate reservations.
In season 4, Carcetti and his aide begin
toleave, but are stopped by a security
guard and told that the governor is now ready to see them.The actor playing that guard?Robert Ehrlich.They convinced the Governor to play a small
role in a scene criticizing him.Brilliant.The episode aired just
after the elections this fall in which Ehrlich lost to O’Malley.The man may not have sideburns, but he has a sense of humor.And his wife wants to kills Britney Spears.I’d settle for her putting some undies on.
Part of the genius of the Wire is the ability to so succinctly
capture the callous nature of the politicians who have been elected by the
people to solve these kinds of problems with their best interests in mind.Once again, institutions fail people.In this case, miserably.The school system is in no better financial
position.The bailout was temporary, and
will likely be needed again in the future.At that point, it will fall on the shoulders of Sheila Dixon, or if we’re
lucky, it hangs on until the next Mayor.But here, on the eve of O’Malley’s inauguration and on the heels of his
promise to spend $400M on schools, the schools just blocks away from where he
served for years are still in dire straits.
I chose to first talk about the mechanics of the fiscal
problems the schools face because its what I understand best.Also critical in an honest look at the
current state of the schools are the condition of the people inside them.There’s no simple answer to the question of
why things are the way they are in the city - vestiges of segregation, economic
disparities, the decimation of the family unit by drugs or incarceration or
indifference, or possibly the decline of the middle class in Baltimore and
other postindustrial cities – they’re all right answers.I don’t work in the schools, but I do know
that students only go so far as the support they receive at home.Without an environment that is conducive to
learning and proper socialization, we can’t expect students to learn within the
structure that worked for us.So, since
I have little to add, I thought I’d add some insight from a friend who teaches
in a similar place: Washington,
DC.DC is stuggling with a school takeover issue
just like Baltimore
did
(free subscription may be required).As
I said, I don’t have much firsthand knowledge, so I’ll defer to my friend, who
had this to say:
A couple of things...
They way overemphasized the influence of The Corner. They made it seem like the
drug game recruits half of the kids. In my experience, it's far less. Sadly,
the smartest kids are the ones the dealers go after.
They made it seem like there is this huge gulf between the bad 25% and the good
75%. Like once they removed the knucleheads from his classroom it was Potomac
Middle. It's more like 80% of the kids are nice, relatively honest, kids--but
terribly, terribly behaved. 10% have truly, amazingly, awful behavior, and 10%
have decent behavior. I use decent very broadly. It's not like they're
jerks--they're not, they're good kids--but they are unbelievably wild. No home
training at all. One of the characters on the show said "When we get these
kids, they're barely housebroken." Pretty accurate.
Real city kids are almost never quiet. Whispering is almost unheard of. When
one kid wants to communicate with another, he/she shouts. I usually teach a
little lesson on how to whisper. I try to get the kids to say stuff about me in
the back of the class without me being able to hear it. I figure it's a useful
skill.
Real city kids can't sit down. Kids often stand up, I give them a look of
death, and they have an expression on their face that says "Damn. To be
honest I actually have no idea why I'm standing up, either." Like
sleepwalking.
The constant fighting between the kids is pretty accurate. Maybe not so many
physical altercations, but even MORE verbal altercations. Constant. They'll be
taking a test and someone will scream that someone else is "Disrespecting
my rubber band!" When I take them out to play football they'll run 8 plays
in a half hour. The rest of the time is spent fighting over who gets to play
quarterback, whose uncle is on crack, who stepped out of bounds on the previous
play, and who has on last year's Jordans.
Tracking really IS banned. It's absurd. Most kids are 3 grades below level,
some are 5 grades below level, some are 3 AHEAD of grade level. They're all in
the same class, though.
Another crazy thing. "Writing across the
curriculum" for test prep is real. So at the beginning of math, art, or
chemistry class, everyone works on subject-verb agreement or pronouns for 15
minutes
I’d love to hear from other teachers on how things really
are in the schools, here or in other cities.I know the show sensationalizes it a little.I don’t think its to exploit, but rather to
get people’s attention.After all, why
do we spend millions on new stadiums (stadia?) when children are getting a
subpar education?There are people in
this city living in poverty; there are houses so long abandonded that the doors
and windows have been cinderblocked.
Sorry.Enough of
that.Since you’ve been so good and sat
through this whole thing, here are some stories from friends teaching in city
schools:
Charter schools are funded on a per student basis. The
official Board of Ed hard count is coming up. To encourage attendance on
that day, the schools pull out all the stops. Yesterday in my class, a
school administrator came into the room and told the kids that lunch on that
day would be fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, collard greens, and fruit
punch. One kid said, "God damn, they pullin out all the stops to get
us black kids to come to class!" Another said "Only thing
missing is watermelon." Then another said "Or white
women." These kids are in 7th
grade.
Kids were talking about Allen Iverson. I said that he
was no saint, and had locked his wife out of the house, naked. One kid
smiled and said "Damn, I love that n$%^#."
A kid just told me that his Christmas is going to suck,
"Because my grandmother in a halfway house, and she usually buys us
whatever we want." I asked him why she was locked up, and he said
"For writing bad checks."
I have a new student named Dawroo. The other kids
immediately started joning on him, saying that his mother was deaf and meant to
name him "Darryl"
I had a student that was very dark skinned and loved anime
and kung fu. Everyone called him "Blackie Chan"
There is a sign on the wall in the hallway that says
"My purse is missing--if found or tooken please contact..."
The other day a girl came to my crying hysterically. I
asked her what was wrong, and she said "He hit me." I asked her
to be more specific. Between dramatic breaths, she said
"It..(wahhhh)...was...(gulp)...Cheeseburger."
Someone took this kid's seat, then he lost his mind and
threw tacos and taco sauce all over a security guard, then claimed it was b/c
he accidentally ate a fly.Of course
that rumor spread, so then all the kids started singing "clifton ate a fly-y-y-y-y-y-y-y"
(ThreeSixMafia) and "I believe I ate a flyyyyyy, i believe i am going to
diiiiiiiiie" (R. Kelly).Then he
had another mental breakdown and started throwing things at them
Student 1: "who's shorter--midgets or dwarfs"
Student 2: "dwarfs are tall ass midgets--i saw this one chinese dwarf
standing next to a midget he looked like yao ming"
Student 3: "you wrong--dwarfs and midgets the same height--difference is,
dwarfs be angry--that's all they is--angry midgets"
Student 2: "YOU wrong--only SOME dwarfs be angry--but they all taller than
midgets"
Student 4: "what about elves?"
Student 1: "elves ain't real"
Student 4: "you wrong--my brother said gary coleman a elf"
Student 1: "what about his ears"
Student 4: "he had surgery"
While typing a seating chart, a kid looks over my
shoulder. Student: “How come you only underlined the names of the kids
in special ed." Teacher: "I didn't underline anything, spellcheck
underlines anything it thinks is spelled wrong." Student:"God
damn, they parents couldn't spell neither."
"Your mama so dirty when she take off her draws it
sound like this.” [student leans over, grabs another student's foot, rapidly
opens velcro strap] [fight ensues]
I once gave a 4 answer multiple choice biology exam where the class
average was under 25%. (That was only my true knucklehead class, the others did fine)
At the end of the year, on the day you turn in textbooks and all that, I asked my biology class if they'd learned anything particularly
interesting. This kid goes, "You know when you see a girl in Parasucos (jeans) with a bu-donk-a-donk, and she look good as a mug? Watch out! 'Cuz when she nekkid, it look triflin'!"
We had a teacher that was allegedly on crack/heroin. A friend of mine was substitute teaching for this guy one day, he walks into the class, the class explodes, and all the kids are exchanging money. He found out that the kids had bet on whether Mr. X would take his check to the crackhouse on the first of the month. Apparently he had.
I'd always pee in the boys bathroom, to take care of my business, and also get the knuckleheads to go to class. I saw a kid blowing exhaled weed smoke out through a bullet hole in the wall.
I kicked a kid out of class once, he got all nasty. He yelled "the
only reason you kicking me out is because I'm black!" and this other kid goes "N$@#$ we all black you dumb mother#@##@!"
When I was athletic director (small charter school), I had to fire
my girls basketball coach for using a 24 year old lesbian with a shaved head and tattoos named Pootie that didn't go to our school. Apparently this girl almost started a riot by doing Hulkamania style
crowd incitement while lighting the other team up.
We had to have a faculty meeting when three kids tied for valedictorian. We decided the best tiebreaker was "least F's"
When 2Pac's mother spoke at a graduation ceremony, the kids started
yelling "Even when you was a crack fieeeeeend, Mama"
I was one of the people in charge of crowd control at a different graduation. This 9th grader's older brother was graduating. He was misbehaving, and his grandmother (picture "Big Mama", hat and
everything) stands up and goes "Joseph Martin! Don't none of those girls want to see your tiiiiiiny penis!"
We had this kid named Tavon that had some type of Gary Coleman/Emmanuel Lewis condition. He was 16 in 9th grade but was about
4-8, 55lbs, and looked like he was about 8. He had an unbelievably filthy mouth--even by ghetto standards. I think it was his way of compensating for his size. Anyhow, one of the teachers was this guy from San Antonio that had recently gotten out of the Air Force's PJ's.
At the school picnic, this little kid is playing basketball with the "regular" kids. The teacher's wife, an Army doctor, is watching the kids play, and she keeps going on and on about how cute he is, etc.
The teacher, in heavy accent, says "He ain't cute, he's got a mouth that can peel paint." Just then, Tavon must have made a nice play, and he yells "Y'all see that, I just %#$^$ that N#@! in the A$$ with no
grease!" at the top of his lungs. The woman was horrified to see a kid that looked 8 say something like that.
I taught this kid named Jeffrey. When Jeffrey was in 9th grade (before I was teaching) he was evidently very small and kinda goofy.
The seniors liked to mess with him--they said he had nice legs--and because of his legs, they nicknamed him "Delicious". Well by the time Jeffrey started 10th grade, he'd had his growth spurt, and was like 6-2,
200, with a full beard and a Barry White voice. In math class, one of his classmates, James, called him Delicious. Evidently Jeffrey told him to NEVER call him Delicious again. A friend of mine was teaching in
the classroom next door. All of a sudden, James Alexander's head pops through the wall, and he hears "N#@#, I told you to NEVER call me Delicious again!" It was one of those temporary walls that they build
really quickly to take a big room and cut it in half. Put poor James's head right through it. Later, Jeffrey transferred to Spingarn to play football (we didn't have it). He used to come around to say hey from time to time. I jokingly
asked Jeffrey if there were any white people at Spingarn. He said "Yeah, we had one." I said "Did he do ok?" Jeffrey said, "Nah, he got shot." I'm sure he was messing with me, but I thought that was great.
I'm pressed about being on time. As you can imagine, in DC, this causes problems. I'd always lock my door (against DCFD codes, but whatever) when the bell rang. So one morning this girl Natasha comes
late to my door, waving a note. I open the door and examine the note. It was from her mom. "Dear Mr. X, please let Natasha in to class even though you don't do that as a lady cut me off this morning on the way
to dropping Natasha off at school and I had a altercation which resulted in me having to physically assault this woman and that is why Natasha is late."
We had a history teacher that was a starting PF at Norfolk State.
Huge guy. This idiot kid named Anthony liked to break off and steal the side view mirrors off of all the teachers' cars in the parking lot. The teacher saw one in Anthony's bag and took it. Anthony was
extremely dark-skinned. The teacher holds out the mirror at arm's length and looked at Anthony, then said "CAUTION: OBJECTS IN MIRROR MAY BE BLACKER THAN THEY APPEAR" Needless to say I couldn't attempt
anything like that.
A Prof at UVa's grad school of education used to use our school as a demonstration for a course (I assume) in urban education. So this group of working teachers from the 'burbs that were getting their
masters degrees came to the school, and parked on the street, rather than in our semi-secured parking lot. In the middle of the school day, this group of middle-aged white people started scurrying all over the
hallways of the school, frantic. ALL of their cars had been stolen.
My gradebook was taken by the cops to be used as evidence. A kid I'd given a pass to go to the bathroom escaped the school, stole a
car, and ran over the principal of a nearby junior high. Within 15minutes of me writing the bathroom pass. I don't know if it was on purpose because of some vendetta or bad luck that he ran the guy over (he lived). The police wanted to know that in fact the kid was in the
building at 10:00 AM or whatever.
I had a kid named Wu whose real name was Michael. I always figured it was because of the Wu-Tang (he had the cool "W" tat and everything). One day he admitted to me, in strict confidence, that it
was really Woo, because when he was born his grandmother saw him and said "Woooooooooo! That is one ugly baby!" Wu's uncle killed his father in the living room when he was five.
I had another kid named Darryl that went by "Squirrel"--I mean
EVERYONE called him Squirrel. Teachers, etc. He had an unfortunate dental condition. So one day I had to call his mom about something, and I said "Darryl..." and she goes "It's okay, don't nobody call him
Durl, we call him Squirrel." Squirrel had a half sister in our school that was born less than a week before him. The kids would constantly taunt him about various things, including "@#%$ Squirrel, your father sure
got his nuts!"
UPDATE: I received this email from a friend who taught in the San Francisco schools:
As a formal "inner city" educator myself, I know that everyone has a theory about why the kids act so badly. I liked the discussion of "good" v. "bad" b/c it recognized the reality that these are all distinctions with fuzzy boundaries If it can be called "mistake," I agree that the Wire erred in showing that a fix is as easy as telling Namon Bryce (sp?) and co. to go into a special room. Of course, it IS a TV show and can do whatever the hell it wants to, but the point is that kids are unpredictable and impossible to classify.
I won't add to all the great points that were made but I must note that the behavior of children across all economic sectors is rapidly "deteriorating." I use quotes because some may call the constant chatter, failure to sit, general disrespect for authority, etc. to be some sort of awakening of free expression in today's youth. I didn't spend enough time in San Francisco to completely agree, but I must say that the willingness to challenge authority is something I am happy to see (within limits). My point is that kids are "acting up" all over.
Anyway, in addition to teaching in the city, I have also had the pleasure of working with the children of some of the world's elites for many years. Long and short- at 8:00 am the elites were eating a full breakfast. Not always "good for you" (I once saw a small Korean boy of no more than 70 pounds house 10 doughnuts), but at least they were full! At 8:30, they lined up in numbers for their daily "meds." I have no clue what they got, but I can assure that the drugs weren't all for allergies. Anyway, the kiddies were markedly different at 9:05 than their counterparts in the city. Of course, those city kids were eating Rap Snacks at 8:00 and, as far as I could tell, many rarely saw a doctor. The real point- who knows what the lack of proper medical care and nutrition have on the behavior of so-called "poor kids." Plus, have the "rich kids" merely been drugged into behaving?
In a not-so-surprising turn of events, Felicia Pearson (Snoop) was arrested on Tuesday. She was apparently soliciting sex from a woman (also not terribly surprising) who turned out to be an undercover police officer.
Pearson, 26, was arrested on January 9 when she allegedly sought sex
with an undercover policewoman, according to a criminal complaint filed
in the Orlando Superior Court.
"Ms Pearson was arrested for soliciting. I can confirm she was in the
car at the time of the arrest," Officer Jason Lee of the Orange County
Police Department said.
"She was arrested after approaching an undercover officer who was
walking the street and offering to perform a sex act," Frank Mateljan
of the Orlando Attorney's office.
By many accounts, Pearson had reformed herself from her previously criminal ways, so while this isn't good by any means, its not the same as if she were caught with an AR-15 or kilos of coke. Soliciting prostitutes? All the greats (last link nsfw) do it.
I think solicitaion (of prostitution, not murder - that's serious) is a hilarious crime. For example, I once had the pleasure of sitting in the Baltimore City District Court on North Ave and Harford Road for the better part of a day. I was not there as a criminal, but as a witness. Someone had stolen my old car (the Down Easter Intrepid) and I was there to testify that I did not give the man who was found driving my car permission to do so. This was before law school and I was actually surprised that besides the judge, clerks and attorneys, I was the only person in a suit. The guy caught with heroin - no suit. He figured the Capitals hockey jersey was ok for court. Anyway, a nicely-dressed, professional-looking man has his case called. This guy was clearly ready. HE had a suit on, AND his own lawyer. No overworked public defender for him! Anyway, he was charged with soliciting fellatio from an undercover BPD officer (a woman, so there was no added same-sex element). He wanted a trial right then and there. So, the SA calls the officer who relays the following:
[Police Officer]: "I have been a police officer for [many] years. I was at the corner of [street] and [street] at [time] on [date] posing as a prostitute. [Defendant] approached me in his car, and through an open window said: 'what's up?' So I said 'what's up?' He said 'what's up?' I said 'what's up?' He said 'what's up?' I said 'what's up?' and then he asked me for head and was arrested.
City States' Attorney: Your witness Slick Defense Lawyer: No questions. City States' Attorney: I rest my case. Slick Defense Lawyer: I call [Defendant].
[Defendant]: I
was driving by the at the corner of [street] and [street] at [time] on [date]. I saw [Police Officer] standing on the corner. She looked at me, and said: 'what's up?' So I said 'what's up?' She said 'what's up?' I said 'what's up?' She said 'what's up?' I said 'what's up?' and then the police swarmed in and arrested me.
Slick Defense Lawyer: No further questions.
City States' Attorney: No questions.
Slick Defense Lawyer: I rest my case.
Judge: [Rolls eyes] Closings?
City States' Attorney: Your honor, this is a simple case of credibility. [Police Officer] has an impeccable service record and no reason to lie. [Defendant] has every reason to lie. You should believe the officer.
Slick Defense Lawyer: Well, you know, HE says you can't believe my client, but, I don't know....I believe him, so you should find him not guilty.
Judge: [Rolls eyes again. Sighs] I'm going to have to hold this over for a jury.
So…music.Truth be
told, music isn’t quite my forte.Don’t
get me wrong, I love music and listen to lots of different artists.But apart from being a fervent Johnny Cash
fan, and having one of the most random music collections there is, I can’t say
that I really “get” music.So, when I
post about the music of the Wire, I hope that the more music-savvy of my friends will feel free to chime in.
You can’t begin any discussion of the music of the Wire
without first discussing the title song.I hesitate to call it a “theme song” because it doesn’t specifically pertain to the characters or the plot, like the Green Acres Theme
Song.However, it does fit the show perfectly in
its depiction of the struggle against sin and the drive for redemption.I don’t see anything particularly poetic or
symbolic in the use of different versions for different seasons, except to the
extent that the song neatly summarizes the common plight of the characters (Baltimore included as a
character), different renditions simply underscore that we all suffer similarly
but uniquely.Oh, and its cool.
So, for the unaware (and no judgment here, we welcome fans
old and new), the four versions are as such:
Season 1: The Blind Boys of Alabama Season 2: Tom Waits Season 3: Neville Brothers Season 4: Ivan Ashford, Markel Steele, Cameron Brown, Tariq
Al-Sabir and Avery Bargasse (aka “DoMaJe”)
For my money, Waits’ version is the best.Maybe because its his song
or because his voice is the coolest in music next to the late, great Johnny
Cash.I will say that the version by the
Blind Boys of Alabama is great and turned me on to a great CD(“Soldier” is one of my favorites, ever).
Season 4’s version is wonderful, too, if for no other reason
than its done by Baltimore
singers (in case you haven’t realized, Baltimoreans are some of the most
uniquely self-obsessed people in the country).In fact, this version made Julianne Shepherd’s (from Pitchfork Media)
list of top songs of 2006.
Then, of course, there’s the show’s use of ambient music
the sole (see below) source of music on the show.Just another notch in the storytellers’ collective belts.I love that they do this, and to be honest,
didn’t notice that they did this until someone pointed it out to me.That’s the point. It adds another layer of realism in that it
does not destroy the fiction.It did
present problems for me as I tried to construct a soundtrack for the show.Most of the songs I knew and liked were
played for a few bars in a scene or blared semi-intelligibly as Slim Charles or
Donut rolled by.
Thankfully, the ban on non-ambient music gives way for the
season finales.These are some of the
greatest moments of the show.The
montage, so often used by lazy filmmakers to connote the passage of time or the
gradual development of a relationship, is employed in a masterful manner to sum
up the season and bring the fully weight of that section of the story to one or
more of the characters in what may be their defining moment and may also be their
exit from the story (see Niko, Season 2).I am not smart enough to add anything to these, so enjoy:
Season 3 Hip-Hop obviously plays a huge role on the show.It’s a common denominator among the corner
participants (let’s be honest, police too).But Baltimore
has always been unique in its relationship to Hip-Hop.It’s never had the big scene like New York (of course), but it hasn’t registered as a blip
on the national scene with the rise of southern rappers from Houston, Atlanta, even North Carolina and Virginia.Hell,
even Philly gets love .
But Baltimore
has its own, if little know, style of music.Though it gets very little play on the local
hip-hop station, local music does get some play
and sometimes it gets a LOT of play,
particularly in high school.Also, it
can apparently save your life.If two
scary people ever approach you on the streets of Baltimore and ask who does “Jiggle It” you
say YOUNG LEEK.
But Baltimore’s
more “usual” hip-hop scene has been getting some attention lately.Aside from some smaller, less successful
forays into the national music scene,
Darkroom Productions’
Hamsterdam mixtape made some noise last year.Maybe more than a
little.The mixtape is sold out.But have no fear!A second volume is forthcoming.If you want, you can go to the CD release
party.Careful. It’s a school night.
They’ve been asked by Blak Leyh to produce some music for
the show, which they did this season.Leyh does the original music for the show, including the fantastic end
credits music.It’s one of my
ringtones.I’m a nerd.Check out Leyh’s website [],
or if you like, his blog.Though its prominently displayed on his site,
here’s a very interesting blog post about Wire music.
Before I get on to my final piece, here’s a funny little fan
video I found:
So, here’s how I started the idea for this post.I wanted to put together a soundtrack for the
show.It’s very difficult.Each episode may use many songs briefly (or
not at all) but aside from the montage songs and the title song, there is
almost never a song clearly identified with a critical scene.Would you associate Johnny Cash’s “I Walk the
Line” with the Wire?Doubtful.But it was part of the opening scene in
“Storm Warnings” in season 2.So, I used
this outstanding website and HBO’s
list as well.
I can’t really pull a soundtrack or “best of” out of this,
so I’m taking any and all suggestions.But for now, here’s the full list.